Astral Teeth

You felt the sigh on the back of your neck.
I pant in rhythm with you,
rock back and forth,
count the tiles on the floor,
49 cracks in history.
I missed you
like my last cigarette,
heaving to feel the smoke come back,
make toxic my lungs again.
I was in breakdown mode,
mood swings like
dragon tails.

I fail to be the follower,
Houdini screaming
in his straight jacket drowning.
I betrayed you to the devil,
tears fall down the back side
of the clock
ticking in the hallway.
There was not enough
closet space for the creature
that hid within,
and the 64 pairs of shoes you bought.

I paint pictures,
vulgar in exhibition
imploding on the inside of the brain.
We chose to channel you,
Christ and his wounds
Stalin and his gun.
Twilight crept into bone-
you shrink away from the darkness.
You were missing
the beauty of the moment.

I gave up on reassembling
your brain.
Too many sunsets on cells,
we see them all,
dying to be the martyr.
I refuse to sin
the way you want me to.
Did you think I was gonna
wave a fucking wand?
Make the pain evaporate,
displace the pain to someone else?
The game is not what you think.
Chess only had so many options.
The moon recalls your struggle
to accept the dying.

But you couldn't help but think,
you are not who we thought you were,
stranger backlit by shadows.
I took the stigmata on
and laughed in your face.
The portals have been opened,
the closets refilled with monsters,
the attics and basements of America
I came through the fog
purging T.S. Elliot,
demanding redemption,
a second chance
to live as someone else.
Crucify your own damn soul
for I will not comply again
as when I walked the streets of London,
vampire to few
that felt my rage
rush the streets,
my teeth
taking your quaking soul
to the astral plane.

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