Freak Hiss

I freaked my way

through the space

between your heart beats

and the stained sheets that

lay on your dirty floor.

Unnerving I know,

but my supernatural pulse

would not permit me

to stay in these

rundown bones of mine.

Dragonflies lost on the subway,

I never quite felt

the sense of belonging,

rolling my eyes at the sputtering lies

I heard in coughing crusty crowds,

sighing to the tune of my

senses dulling,

dreaming damned,

I hissed inferno and magic

which was misinterpreted

as snake songs and graffiti.

Frowns of forefathers

and sobs of our earthen mothers

in the time that passed silently

backwards,

we habitually settled

for hasty hiking up of skirts,

dungeon detail,

gravel eating,

and the sour tastes

of ghosts in our pained periphery.

I craved instead-

staring holy hallucinations

in the eye,

taking the metaphysical plane

in our dripping mouths,

sex teeth glistening,

laughing at such a ravenous freedom

that could be ours if we so choose it,

birthing luscious melodies

and banging on the furniture

with frenzied fucks,

an eroticism

so intense,

so very deep,

kept me in a constant

state of orgasm

which I learned from the moon,

how to quiet my howling head.

I craved to have your skin

throb and ache

to the rhythms of my own,

feel my bones

wake up in the night and shake

hearing your voice

whispering me back to bed

when I went wailing and walking

in my restless sleep

through the ether tremors,

your subtle stroking

soothing the seizure visions,

soft and sultry,

stealing me away

from thundering nightmares,

lifting my body

up through the dark.

Wrap around me again

and hoist bright lanterns

above my wicked forehead,

illuminating even the creep places in my

screaming skull.

Show me any goddamn reason to give

this sorrow earth

another chance

in the morning

whilst I just

want to lay in bed all day

and drown my memories out

with my molten tears.

Yet as I cringe at the thought of the dawn,

another stifling day

without a hand to hold,

a glorious cold

swept in,

slinking inside me

through the open window,

I moaned

with the pleasure

she brought down,

my brain alive

with predicate possibilities,

sizzling desire

ricocheted through

my bloody veins,

reminding me

hope can always be found,

even in the murk and the mire.

Living in the Mind of the Alligator

Living in the mind

of the alligator,

I crunched down hard

on strings

that tied me down

to the underworld

as she grinned at me in my sleep,

tossing my brain,

back and forth,

oh so back and forth,

creating harmonies

from my miseries

that had a language

of their own.

My stinging head

lay somber and sober,

and an empathic stare

from a stranger

undressed me in my

well hidden despair,

understanding me more deeply

in that fading instant than

most people who pretend to know me well,

seems these solar flare moments

are occurring with gathering speed,

ticking backwards on a pinwheel.

Shrill screams

shattered windows,

glasses melted down

to their insides,

the mirror was the only ghost

who saw my tears,

heard my haunted moans

from the graveyard

while I danced the Charleston,

swung round and around

by the sly tombstones and trombones

who tried to get me drunk

so I would take them home

to fuck and leave quickly

with the guilt stained to their faces

in the middle of the dawn

who draped itself on our skin

without a whisper

or any explanation.

As the black and blue butterflies

flit to and fro

in front of my hindsight,

the only patterns

that seemed to repeat

were the reaper’s raspy tones

skipping on the phonograph,

and the steam that

enjoyed soaking and clutching

my windows

in the early yawning morning

when I took my youngest brother

to school

so he wouldn’t have

to ride the sticky seated

yellow jacket bus

with its scissor sting occupants,

bumping and smashing

into each other with hormones

and vengeance.

Though I tried to

choke down my insidious pain,

it seeped out of my aching pours

anyway,

not giving a downtrodden damn

or waiting for permission,

alchemy taking tea

with the monsters

I slept with,

watching the people

who I had been there for,

time and again,

wiping their tears away

with my bleeding hands,

they then to leave me all alone in my

retching,

howling,

sorrow,

to hitchhike back home

without even a hint of compassion

on their vacant faces,

just cold stone staring back at me.

So instead of waiting around

for you to be done with your cigarettes,

your lie stained teeth,

your liquored up false promises and

fake adorations,

I wandered away weary by myself,

talking with

the sky spirits,

singing to the tree limbs

in their waking hours,

mouthing words

to the water

flowing down

my temperamental skin,

praying with my face to the earth

in hoping reverence

that grief will leave me be,

even for just a breath,

so I can rise up

with the moonlight

in holy ecstatic pleasure

to forget who I am. 

Alice Watches

I guess you

didnt see alice

watching you,

like pictures

playing,

dolls dancing

round,

speaking in

sounds,

in my head

I saw you,

sensed your

waves and

deeds done

over sneaky smiles,

twitching eyes,

closing doors

quickly,

pacing lines,

walls smoothly

shutting down

on themselves.

I looked out windows

to forget

sad nuances,

maybe days

or minutes

of ceiling fan turnings over

hazy rapes

on carpeted bedroom floors,

razor blades,

molestations on cruel couches with TVs blaring

war re-runs,

callous thrusts on hard cement

driveways without words,

violations in truck beds,

sadistic cornerings against sleazy offices walls,

closet shamings,

between singing

and crying howls for mercy

though he would never listen,

between humiliations

and manipulation nails,

phone call lies

and degradations,

you are silly,

you are stupid,

you are dumb,

and why cant you

see how wrong you are?

I ate a hole in

my head to

shut you out,

over and over,

again today

and every day,

sometimes now,

the way you made

me feel comes

back to me

as a flash of thunder,

ricocheting off my bones,

thumping like a swamp

inside my skull, 

a scream,

and I crawl,

slimy to self-hatred,

that 17 year old girl

loving a tyrant

just across the

sun-harsh way.

And then I shake

awake again.

Ah!

to breathe

and stumble

out,

a dragoned

witch-

haunted,

but in the lovely moonlight,
I was the bringer
of my own passion,

so softly touching
and healing myself

by liquid fingers,

ever just so,

oh,

sultry vibrations

moved and pulsed

the body

upward to

divinity in

ecstasy, always.

Enlightened pleasure

is deeper and moaning,

heavy sweeter,

mmm,

oh,

fuck yes,

please.

Awake now,

I see.

Your cruelty has no

power over me now. 

I Knelt Down

I knelt down

in reverence

to the river,

tender kisses

on the curves

of her

ebbs and flows.

It was heartbreaking though,

to watch

bodies and spirits,

beat out

our own traumas

on each other’s bones,

patterns repeating

their virus glitches,

malicious verbage

and cruel bloodied marks,

profane hypocrites

reciting sacred odes

yet spitting sadistic

eulogies during

birthing rites.

Gasp.

Panic.

Couldn’t bare the sight of it,

no honey, Im sorry but Ive just already

wept so much today.

Mmm breath,

slow down now,

hush the rough,

halt the constant

proving of fancy fucking,

predictable games and

classes in cool

with their

tight-assed smiles,

sad-eyed

stupid smoker habits,

nodding heads at all the right shoes

and accessories,

laughing at bad jokes

that no one in the room even understands.

Instead my dear,

explore the sensuality

of each space

between single notes

in cut times

and quickened heartbeats,

pulses throbbing in sync,

soaking pussies,

erect nipples,

quick sighs,

sarcastic rhymes,

Kama Sutra salutations,

in graveyards,

over mountaintops,

between soft thighs,

lips supple and

waiting,

give rest

and sanctuary from the

world’s harsh turnings,

violent lashings out

of power

lust media

rapes,

wrath iron

goblets,

suckled pigs

of state and gold.

Enough.

They cease to rule

once you choose

to be free

of that drenched

machine

dripping poisoned

shaped nails,

greed faking happy,

lust faking love,

and oh how power means

fucking nothing but

a bad tagline wrapped in tinsel.

So I lifted up my

third eye high

and slept low

and in

heavy

pleasure

with the moon

moaning ecstasy

into the night,

then snuggled down deep

into the ocean,

re-learning to breathe.

Sex and the Alchemist

Oh please now,

let me come on in,

down inside your eyelids,

sinking low

and subtle slow,

to the thrusting space

between your hips,

my head and

legs

split open

by the alchemists light,

found in the deep,

inside the fury earth,

yet also within my molten womb,

resurrecting musing moans,

I melted back

into your beating chest,

and we rocked and hurricaned

so easy whilst together,

slowly in and out and inside me,

your hands bled freely

from my thorny skin,

I sucked the blood up

through the rafters,

left you pinned against the wall

with gasps of pleasure,

then we stray,

your hands to my

shoulders,

down my arms,

sending a shiver up and down me,

soaking bedsheets,

sex screams

and tree whispers

fissured through

my dreams

leaving me

weary walking

absent-minded talking,

lushly lurking

in the daylight,

rounding corners,

unexpected hallways,

into your periphery.

I stared you down

naked

in the mirror,

with such heavy

syrup sighs,

drink and fill up

your mouth

with my

rhythms,

keep sacred

the moon,

her lover

the sandstorm,

her worshipers,

the rivers

that slurred

their sanities

ever onward

to the ocean.