Chaos Reigns in Wonderland

Chaos Reigns in Wonderland:

This is dedicated to Britney Spears (who I am listening to right now “Piece of Me”) and to the fun trips you can have on your journey in and around wonderland sometimes.....

Let us start at the beginning of the trip down this particular rabbit hole (I want to shout out to Rachel and Eliza here)... I think you will laugh, hopefully, at this small little channeling exercise. We shall go into these uncharted waters together and at least get a laugh and learn a bit about ourselves, maybe if we want to.

Let’s start out light. Pass the grapefruit around the table as whatever we want, we shall reign for a moment. Angels in the cornerstones of our universes, thriving passionately in a learned laughter, a recognition of the sublime in the ridiculous.

Trees seem to get it, I think for some reason. I don’t mind telling you that I went with Rachel to a Britney Spears concert (recently, I don’t remember when) and we met a gay man in the subway that we ate at across from the concert and he was very blah blah blah about Britney Spears. So, that was interesting and we were best friends for two minutes and then went our separate ways. Ahh well, that’s how they do sometimes.

She is pretty freaky lady. She was doing her “Circus” Tour. Watch some of her stuff... some weird stuff going on here.

Britney Spears song “Blur” in which she says “can’t remember what I did last night...everything is still a blur”. This dissociative Cheshire cat needs some help. If you are sacrificing your happiness for someone else, you need to get out of there. You got to “keep in touch with your star player” at Kat Williams would say.

Do yourself a favor and get off that table and down and out of that room altogether, let’s bond together around some positive, hopeful people and see if we can’t work something out. If you get it together, we could save this ship from sinking. Some are moving forward and that’s great and yet some are staying still... move forward, it is time.

So we arrive at the party late, it’s a big ballroom masquerade theme and we are dressed to the nine’s (that’s an old school phrase for dressing up for some of you new souls out there) and bring a bottle of wine and turn a record on. We bring our projects and books we are working on, our papers, various tourist brochures, candles and incense, chocolate.

We are starting to relax with each other, start to open up and handle each other, carefully and without too much harm done. I come to this event in tails, top hat, dark and shiny look. I hope you take no offense to this, it is just what I see today as a way to represent myself. This is a memoir, of sorts, and thus I should be able and allowed to express an odd gender confusion on my behalf.

You put on quite the show, champagne and mirrors. I love this kind of party, I have to admit. I like a challenge. Set this party in the Great Gatsby era if that is to your liking, old French Elite if that is more your taste in era, a rave in New Orleans if that is more your style, Women’s Studies Conference’s in South Carolina, any number of places this particular party can be placed. The main theme is the same.

We live in a world of madness and thus how else are we supposed to cope but to be a bit on the tinge mad ourselves, I think it is completely understandable with all the fights to be yet fought and the challenges yet to go through. A little mad I think is the best way to go in situations such as these. Have a laugh at least about it and move on to the next week and beyond.

We sit and dine, again my friends. This discussion does get a little carried away Alice thinks from the proper way of things, but Alice sits on her hands and says nothing. It is fun to see people having fun, but the Church would not have this kind of communion go on for too long.

Speaking of church I went today. I am glad that I did because it gave me faith in the church again: good sermon (shout out to my pastor Paul here) and such. I am enjoying my time with you, my friends, and I think I shall go and see Alice in Wonderland

again sometime on my own expense. I want to see it again, regardless of what others think about it. Soon, I have other movies to see and buy but I will wait. I want to get Fantastic Mr. Fox (I love this one, funny as hell) and Where The Wild Things Are is also a good one too.

I miss my Edward (from Twilight) persona. I know that many don’t care for this particular one but I like him, so just back off. I will be fine and you will all make it through in one piece even if I do this persona for a while. You are adults now; you can handle it.

Also if I do mad hatter... you can handle it. Just calm yourself down now, we are all going to be fine. Just ride the wave and no worries. But if I am going to do mad hatter, you have to let me do Kerli too. She is so much fun and my favorite line in the Tea Party song “let’s keep it traditional...” I love this.

I have one strict note for certain parties, however, Alice stands and shouts out to the crowd and there is silence in the long hall as they await for her words to come out. “Enough of this violence. No more casual talk about torture of people and mutilation talk whilst we eat our scones and drink our tea. These conversations are for another time, my friends. Let us keep it light. Please, I beg of you. No more horses, slain or dead or hurt...

no more talk of that for now. I can’t handle it. It hurts my mind to see these things. You are toxifying my mind when I am down and out. Please no more of these harsh videotapes. Let’s keep things light. No more talk of abuse, child or otherwise, no more serial killers, please. I cannot handle these demons now.”

She looks up and to the left.... in her sweet voices with her yellow laces on her shoes and her blue dress and blue hat. Someone told Alice the other day that if you look up and to the left that you are lying. I think that is bullshit...hehehe... but still kind of funny. I get that a bit. Cool, anyway I hope that this was funny in bits and makes you laugh.

I know there were bits of unpleasant but you brought these things up in the first place so I don’t know what to tell you. Until you stop talking about it, I can’t stop writing about it. It is in my bloodstream, as a channeler, and I have to play these scenarios out because I don’t (as of yet) know how to wash these things out of me. I do not know how to turn that off yet cause I am (k)new to this trial and error thing. Patience with me.

Alice is done for now. I feel good about this one. Please respond. Does this help? I don’t know... I noticed that you liked “the red queen speaks out”. I am exhausted in trying to get out to you, Thanks.

The Red Queen Speaks....

Chapter Five

The queen in her trial of alice was set to music by Louis Armstrong and Charlie Parker in a midst of a thunderstorm. The queen was waiting with her heals up on the bar and waits and waits and is getting in impatient! Ahh! She howls and the king, small and feisty.

Alice, thrashing about, trying to leave this cauldron of freaks and geeks. I have extra teeth, I have extra says the mad hatter, hats and hats and hats among them. The mad hatter appears in red font and is extra annoyed today. You are leaving us without saying goodbye? Are you mad? I think not. You are not going to leave us today from this earthen-ish place. We love you. Miss you much love and wish you could stay awhile. Would you have another cup of tea? Stay a minute? Please?

Alice says to the court, I will stay through the trial and then go home.
The queen screams, the sentence, the sentence! Alice replies in disdain, verdict first... '

sentence after.... The queen turns red and says off with his head! The king says, ahh queen now, be patient... can’t we have a trial? a little one? And the queen replies ahh yes, well get on with it, I have shoes to buy and lunches to attend to. The king calls for first witness. The mad hatter approaches the stand, as he is want to do on many occasions. Through good and the bad and the bit ugly....

The march hare goes first. The rabbit asks what do you know about this horrible event. And to this the march hare replies: nothing what-s o –ever. Whell, that is very important then. Jury write that down.

The mad hatter steps up next to the scene to perform a most magical and serpent-like game with the queen. I am a hatter, sayth he, and to this the queen replies: Oh, goodness well, I did not mean to turn you from your duties. The Mad Hatter replies, “oh, no harm done... we will just have a spot of tea before we all get on our going ways”. Out comes the cups and saucers, the cakes and teas, the fruit and pie and wonder of all wonders of food.

So they all sit awhile and dine, they talk on the weather and whether the weather man would be joining us anytime this evening. We discuss politics and the economy, from androgyny shows to masquerades and games that reminded us of home. It was fun once again in the land of wonder, for a short time, which seemed a long time and a short amount of time together.

You dance and trot about and sprain your ligaments, you drink and improv crash through ceilings. It was really the same, you and I, on this weird and awkward winding road (here we break out into the Beatles with their song... “the long and winding road, that leads...dum dum dum....that leads to your door.....”) So we relax, and chill it out and write a memoir and do wel,l ok in everything else. But we like this sort-of daydream state.

It is so much easier to deal with life when you stay in the wonderland place. Who is the mad hatter in the real world? I am, but who is me. Me is someone that I am trying to remember by writing this blog. Who am I in that world?

How do I function as mad in the world of the real. I do not know, but it sure as hell has been an interesting ride. Jordan is Alice, I know for sure. The white queen being Rachel. Noah being Cheshire (also being my dad) and dog. Mom being the dormouse, etc. We need to wake up. It is time to
bond together and shot in unison. Maybe we will be heard.

The mad hatter ponders all of this in her mind as she eats another cheesecake and macaroon cookie. The storm is coming and she can feel it in her bones. But our story does not end here. There is much more to tell and dwell back and mention again and then there is just more to it then that. Here we start to learn about ourselves and what we are willing to sacrifice and for whom? How far are you willing to go? Want to keep falling with me?