Sex Resurrection

It felt oddly natural
that the wolf
would awaken
the phoenix from her slumber
with his haunted howl.
Earth to fire
back to earth,
we stumble through
our parts,
our characters,
our elements
always changing with the weather.

Sex resurrection,
obscene holy,
profane miracles,
my magic trick
was to see inside the mirror’s reflection
and understand its ethereal alchemy
though the experience was dumbed down
with useless language
that never explained exactly
what I'd seen,
and the pathetic cycle
of forcing myself 
to either
speed up or
slow down
my brain’s circuits
to fit the crowd,
cause I was expected
to still pay rent right?
Still having to chat with neighbors,
talk about work and war,
go to parties and be scintillating,
still having to rage on government spending,
argue that Black Lives DO Matter,
fight misogynistic assholes about
payoffs to set
rapists free
so they can go back to making America
a proud sporting nation.

What did you want me to say?
I ate my organic grapefruit
for breakfast,
worked towards the picket fence dream
that wasn’t mine,
kissed the wife,
exercised for 30 min,
fed the kids,
went to bed,
when what I really did
was wake up
an hour after I was supposed
to be somewhere
with a headache I tried to ignore,
washed my
anti-psychotic meds
down with the
leftover glass of wine
from the night before,
ate a peppermint patty
as I threw on
the clothes that were
on the floor
closest to my bed,
stumbled out the door,
lied through the days with
“Im fine.”
“It’s fabulous,”
all the while thinking:
Act Normal,
God please
let my fake normal
again today
because really
Im a walking hurricane
and I just miss my family
and want to go to a home
that Im forgetting.

Even so,
I kept pulling
the Tower
over and over:
the tarot will
yell at you
until you hear her.
So I saw the beginning of the crumble
of all the boring social “norms”
and the birth
of the wild and peculiar,
we are falling from the sky above and
rising from the ground below.

Careful now,

for we are coming.

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