I worship genders.
Trying to keep the inner clock satisfied, I bury in my sleep fragments of my self
deep down in the lands of dark dreams.
someone took a saw to my psyche and cut me in two parts, at least. Masculine and Feminine identities play chess in my brain, every move a switch goes off in my head and I shift gender. Hundreds maybe thousands of times a day, subtle fluidity. I have learned to hide in the paper trees of the inferno life, gender rabbit hole falling, with a few bruises to spare.
A drop of pain for trying to remember the feeling.
I must learn to move with awareness, slow and steady toward full awakening. My head opens, I accept my eccentricities and move deeper to the core of the soul, the harvest moon. Understanding the vastness of yourself opens you up to understanding the collective, the individuals that flow in and out of your kinesthetic space and body. Your dreams then become beyond you yet clearer than imagination. I learn to own my wonderland.