Heaving Jazz

Western delusions

ran

mucking

through my

pollinated head

heaving jazz

and howled erotica,

listening to sirens out of

townhouse windows,

smoking cigarettes,

outside of idle bars,

being awkward

with half-strangers,

kundalini rising,

keeping your

stories with me

while drinking

irish eight balls

in cozy yet

judgemental

hipster habitats,

rolling eyes and

deep sighs with

much coughing.

My fucking god,

the bullshit that flew

carelessly out of your mouth,

is starting to reek,

good heavens sir,

cant you just shut up

for a second,

faint away if you must

for awhile,

whilst I listen

to your heart beating,

keeping

rhythms with

the tilts of the planet.

ugh,

enough already

with the

half-assed rhetoric,

oops,

I mean,

sorry,

I get grumpy with

so much,

weather mending,

headaches raving,

cancer reigning,

what not.

I tried to be calm,

casual in

my breathing

and speaking low

now,

in dirty sex tones,

no offense,

just my nature,

coming to play

with the mist round the moon.

I was favored

in the twilight hours

by flocks of crows

roaring out

our deaths

on the pavement,

and I happened to hear

you,

in your dreams,

talking to yourself,

signs of the crosses,

tarot cards and

wounds tearing

in the dark.  

Sex and Sorcery

I dreamt of sorcery.

You died in your sleep

while Mary Magdalene

feeds the mockingbirds outside her

window and cries herself

into dreaming,

red robin

tied to a lamppost.

Night sweat,

dancing out

the bass,

sex and public stonings.

I lean in,

change your history,

keep you going

to the rhythm,

slow and steady, honey-

I make you wait

cause Im good at that.

Create the difference

you crave to see,

live aloud and fuck it.

Give in

or make do,

teacups with coffee in them

and lace lingerie,

black with pink bows,

fishnets,

and those boots you like.

Let's lift each other up,

we delve further

into time,

deeper inside the ocean.

Honest sacrifice,

the hanged man

swings back and forth

and you laugh

until the key fits

into your locked door.

And there,

standing in your

narrow-minded hallway,

which you fucking built

all by yourself,

is the goat with a grin

and death,

snickering at your expense.

The hanged man and the fool

I miss the winter,
that chilling of the spine
reminds me I'm alive.
Nothing quite like
teeth-chattering reality,
I suppose.

You make me move
slither in and out,
unfold with me,
take me to that creeping show,
discover
that you know nothing
at all about me,
deep down,
in the bone.

I saw the Hanged Man
in my dreams,
lay me down,
thus to rise again.
The red dragon ever purging
within me.
The Fool is laughing
because he doesn't give a fuck.

Mind games

Forget me not fantasy,
the deep continues to echo
as I slip further inside
the waking cosmos.

I trip out the monster,
he sees me as his own reflection
in that some spoken mirror.
Taint me again,
I don't mind due to
the warmth of my skin
and my voice stretching
into the ethers and the hallways
of the Hierophants
who are only angels in the sunlight.

But every night
twilight came with a snide remark
and we change into
our dark creatures,
licking and fucking,
magic making with our voodoo
heroin puppet strings.
I ache to taste anew.
The moon agrees to carry me home
when I cannot stand up
straight or holy.
I'm closer than you think.

2011 Tarot Reading

Method: One Thoth tarot deck that was shuffled by Megan and I. We took turns drawing cards for the month. Our intention was for the cards to show us the general vibes/keywords associated with each month. We recognize that these are very general impressions, but if one does a further investigation of the Tarot one may find that there are interesting correlations to astrological/astronomical events, as well as, present day institutions. We left these keys words for those to see if they get the same ideas about the cards and months as we do. We would love to see if any one out there has visions, dreams, etc that relate to these cards and their meanings.

Note: All of the words or phrases listed below were stream of conscious words about each card. 

January- Prince of Swords

science, stick with the machine, overcome small obstacles, 

control the id, persistence, control, 

seeing it through, scattered, angry, fractured feeling, 

hard work, steadfast, 

control of the fractured self. (Jan 2011)

February: 10 of Wands (Oppression)

warning card of self-defeat and inner oppression. 

Too much heaviness feeling. 

Anxiety/Apathy, stress from external realms of control, 

exhaustion, a general sense of heaviness, weight, 

feeling held down by time and karma. (Feb 2011)

March: 8 of Wands - swiftness, 

swift change in course, clear communication, 

connection/networking, 

overcoming communication problems, 

being direct and blunt about your endeavors or feelings.

It's quick and intense, things seem to be happening and opening up in various areas, 

more directed energy, focus, control  (March 2011)

April: The Fool 

freshness, creativity, embracing of complexity, 

connection with spirituality. New awareness, 

taking the plunge, going out on a limb, 

new things starting ventures, economies. 

Healthy naivety/humble and open to new experiences. 

Open perception/intuition (April 2011)

May: The Magus (#2)

ascension, creativity, metaphysical changes, 

beginnings, manifestation in the material world, 

power of crops, green-life minded. (May 2011) 

June:  Princess of Cups

Flight, impulse, giving in to whims, 

letting sensations take you somewhere, 

an opening of the senses, letting go,

 transforming, letting go of false illusions, false witness. (June 2011)

July: Princess of Disks

Birth of new ideas, grounding to earth, light in the darkness, 

finding inner light through creativity and sensuality. 

Deliverance out of darkness.  Growth, development, 

Help/Aid at hand. Feel strong, united. Connection to humanity. 

Looking back, reflection on past. (July 2011)

August: The Star 

new age, higher sensitivity, connecting the material with the ethereal. 
Spiral energy, awakenings, dreams, fulfillment,
 touching the divine, love and support, 
a peace of mind, nightly visions, lucid dreaming. (August 2011)

September: Wheel of Fortune

connection, electric, energy, fortune, 

sudden breakthroughs, realizations, sparks,

the path has shifted, 

divine help, divine connection, 

moving with the machine of karma or being stuck in the cycle. (Sept. 2011)

October: The Devil

Sexual energy manifesting, spiritual connection, power, 

creativity through divinity, connection to collective consciousness, 

edgy, red energies, a profitable darkness, playfulness, 

awareness through third eye, manipulation, powerful figures, authority, 

mastery over the material, being demonized,

jealously towards others or towards you, shifting identities,

(Oct 2011)

November: Queen of Disks

Reflection, the pathway to something new, 

understanding the process of growth and patience, 

connection to the divine, seeing a greater work in the process,

timelines, seeing the seeds of your future and past, reverie. (Nov 2011)

December: Prince of Cups

Watery floods, steamy release, quickness to anger, 

flighty, shifty, focus on trivial matters, fissure

aggressive, too focused on transformation, 

tunnel vision, forgetting important aspects of the bigger picture, 

focused on sexuality/affection. Floods of emotion, mass weeping

False attraction, vain sexuality, ignoring the lotus, closed chakras

(Dec 2011)