Alice Watches

I guess you

didnt see alice

watching you,

like pictures

playing,

dolls dancing

round,

speaking in

sounds,

in my head

I saw you,

sensed your

waves and

deeds done

over sneaky smiles,

twitching eyes,

closing doors

quickly,

pacing lines,

walls smoothly

shutting down

on themselves.

I looked out windows

to forget

sad nuances,

maybe days

or minutes

of ceiling fan turnings over

hazy rapes

on carpeted bedroom floors,

razor blades,

molestations on cruel couches with TVs blaring

war re-runs,

callous thrusts on hard cement

driveways without words,

violations in truck beds,

sadistic cornerings against sleazy offices walls,

closet shamings,

between singing

and crying howls for mercy

though he would never listen,

between humiliations

and manipulation nails,

phone call lies

and degradations,

you are silly,

you are stupid,

you are dumb,

and why cant you

see how wrong you are?

I ate a hole in

my head to

shut you out,

over and over,

again today

and every day,

sometimes now,

the way you made

me feel comes

back to me

as a flash of thunder,

ricocheting off my bones,

thumping like a swamp

inside my skull, 

a scream,

and I crawl,

slimy to self-hatred,

that 17 year old girl

loving a tyrant

just across the

sun-harsh way.

And then I shake

awake again.

Ah!

to breathe

and stumble

out,

a dragoned

witch-

haunted,

but in the lovely moonlight,
I was the bringer
of my own passion,

so softly touching
and healing myself

by liquid fingers,

ever just so,

oh,

sultry vibrations

moved and pulsed

the body

upward to

divinity in

ecstasy, always.

Enlightened pleasure

is deeper and moaning,

heavy sweeter,

mmm,

oh,

fuck yes,

please.

Awake now,

I see.

Your cruelty has no

power over me now. 

Shaken

Click, click, clacking,

radios spinning

in wonderment

at vowels

spat out

by my tongue alone,

in the night

as I dream

awake.

Orgasming out

sex dolls,

juicing flames,

forked fucks,

confused laughs,

harmonic whispers,

erect philosophies,

sensual shamans,

pagans named

in different

masks

keeping

abstract

whirlwind time,

boots set ever so delicately,

on the floor,

after banging and blitzed,

pressed backs

against cupboards,

titillating the glassware,

scratch marks

down the lily and violet

wallpaper

to the left of the bay window,

honeydew holiday

breakfast nook,

we moaned together,

though then I flashed to my

inner mockingbird harlequin,

stained with

crumbling castles,

cruel alchemy

performed on top of me,

tortured apothecaries

enacted,

poisoned elixirs tested

out on my breath,

my sex,

my bones broken,

and blood

bled dry,

round and round

we go,

with the wrath and miracles,

merry go weary,

and I wondered

if even the ceiling fan

would bother to care,

would remember my name,

when I go

quietly and quickly

from here

with a shudder

and a lick of my Cheshire lips,

a mad hatter shake of my hips.

Goodbye alice,

oh how I miss you

in the mists and the sun. 

Hell and Sex Sounds

To just shrink away

out of your

mass churched periphery,

hide in a soft

tender touch,

martyr I was,

to your scent,

I felt the world

grow dim and daft,

spring fever came

dragging me by

the long hairs

on the top of my silly head,

slurping thick cum

oozing out of  hard cocks,

wet tongues,

towards one more

bloody pill

that kept you

sputtering out odes

and quick secrets,

rushing out of your mouth

on my skin,

all in one breath,

that you forgot

you had told me,

in the morning,

and I wasn’t going

to discuss it further,

even if you bent your

face into my deep pussy

and begged,

with light sucks and whispers

into my womb,

fucked up phantoms

dancing

to synthetic beats,

all I seemed to be able

to do was shut down,

breathe deeply,

close my eyes

to the horrors

hunted down and

displayed in the circus tent,

the stage set,

solo for that weeping reaper,

only the rain could save us

and even she felt dirty,

Alice

and her battered dolls,

caterpillar and madhatter

wrathed at the sight,

in silent sex tones

and laughter. 

Spice

The weather was lonely

along with the Jack of hearts,

who landed in my periphery

and of course with the

stolen Queen’s tarts and affections,

funny- oh irony,

stargazers stuck with

grey skied nights and

demon eyes,

silly dragon tongued boy,

breathing fire and

sex scented bedrooms

lit up the dark,

laughing and fucking and bending,

in and out of breath.

You and I

came together in

strange times of the Spider and

the cypher prophets,

floated along in the morning

and becoming ghosts

in the nighttime.

It’s gypsy witching

season friends,

I crave to hear your howls

and stomps on the earth,

changing the world

creating magic and sex and

brilliant sensual gospels.

I want to hear your wildness.

I dare you to be bold.

Affection drenched

in sarcasm,

we can fuck to the

rhythms of those sultry saints,

rock back and forth,

side to side,

in and out,

pulsing cum and revolution,

art designed

in thunderstorms and catacombs,

I’ll kiss you
soft and rough,

moaning out my religion

on your skin and bones.

Let me in,

I’ll undress your energy,

melt your breath into mine,

haunt and whisper,

taunt and tease,

dripping lace and lust,

spices and sensations linger,

as I dive into you,

and we are overcome.  

I Am Unknown

The sorrow,
ever swimming,
takes me down to the corner,
digs me a hole
to drown in.
The cancer's ever-taking
what it wants,
doesn't worry about
the soul within that's
ready to shine at any instant.

And those lovely wrathful
Wall Street Prophets,
their voices,
our voices,
finally being stamped on the ground
in protest,
being heard.

Though it still seems
violence and inhumanity reign
in the places of power,
the money jar
being the cookie jar
for the Select Few
and the human rights violations
in the streets of our downtown cities
and in the prisons nearby
are small prices to pay
for a corporate fucking agenda?
May no crooked corporate monster
debase our art and infinite creative power
again. Amen.

There's such risk
in gypsy training,
queering and healing,
must keep looking to the light,
even though the dark is thrust
upon us,
so heavy.
Giving and sometimes
not even getting the
teacups and saucers back at parties
you throw.
take and taken.

My God,
have we all become
such sinister danger animals?
The shadow grew into a cold
monster overnight,
as I lay,
staring into ethers.

Wonderland repeats herself:
I take blame only for the madness
of the Hatter,
the rest is syrup,
darkness and orgasms.
The vampires whisper
in my ear again,
I follow them down
that ugly dank hole
in the concrete,
Daniel and his lions,
me and my serpents,
wanting to shine on you,
one last time,
before I leave here.

I want a kinder tortured soul,
no more brutal battery
to my characters,
now and then,
as of late,
and even back when I remember
times being better.
My intuition doomed me
because damn it,
I knew better with
moon slowly crashing to earth
and my eyes growing sad
with your half-lies.
Just wanted a bit of fun really
with insane gestures,
new sex positions,
and obscure references
to propaganda and the media
mouth hungry machine,
eating away at our senses,
teething on our bones.

Didn't you know?
We are made through
fire and ice,
a wicked angel's alchemy.

The desert night
is calling us back,
to the ground,
the slurring rain
drenching my skin,
covering my wounds,
making me feel holy,
just for one magic moment,
breathing in,
letting it out,
a road towards
final freedom.
Follow me?

The Witch Doctor Visions

I was born into the hands
of a laughing demon
in the back room of an apothecary
in New Orleans
circa 1617.

Let it be known that
when the witch doctor stared
into my red eyes,
the moment of my first cries,
he sucked air into his mouth fast,
held his breath for 45 seconds
and then let it out with a deep sigh
that rattled the very walls
of that establishment
and then he groaned in disillusion.

I knew what he was thinking
and thus I responded
with a haunted growl,
the flock of ravens
sitting on the tombstones
across the street
took flight in whispers
and soft hisses.

Meanwhile,
in a small village in
modern day Pakistan,
a rebel for the white knight
mounts his horse,
shouts into the sky
an old religious curse
on the land
and leads his soldiers
to the center of the town-
he was told to leave no survivors
and he is a man who follows directions.
I could hear the screams
from where I lay,
mass graves leave an energy imprint
on our DNA,
Templar fever is spreading.

Approximately one hour after the slaughter,
a 23 year old man awakes
from his nightmare sweating
and turns to his Russian wife:
"wake up,
that fucking bastard
killed even the children
in that little town
with the tip of his
thrusting sword,
into their chests,
drinking their blood.

Soar with me to the 21st century,
watch the goth teens
down that one alley in Brooklyn,
shooting up heroin again,
standing in the shadows,
waiting for hot legs to walk by and bother-
just because,
"hell, there's nothing else
to do in this fucking lame town."

Sitting in my shower,
taking crawlspace intuition
deeper into wonderland,
I fall into the rabbit hole
and wait for the secrets
to unfold in the basement
where my astral body lands:
Joan bennet Ramsey and her father,
painted faces,
sad eyebrows and dark horses
swarm around me.
I cough and the man
standing in the corner
by the window steps into view,
he laughs and disgusts me.

I jolt awake and vomit out the sinister maniac
with the wild beast hair
hanging in his face.
I watched him murder that poor child
with a plastic bag and a hair tie,
and after a night like this one,
I will never be the same.
All the visions I have,
I carry with me into the daytime,
but I won't tell you every image-
most I take with me to the sea
with the moon
shining and smiling on the water.

Muse Alice

Underneath the 12 glossy-eyed masks
of Judas,
I found out you were only
rainwater
with an Irish whiskey chaser.
So I tried to forget
and instead fell on my ass,
somewhere between
a tremoring hangover
and a trembling dance floor,
grinding ya right,
lifting you up towards
the sky.

So wet,
dig deep,
find me out
until I shift again,
and you won't
remember my name,
I will make sure of that,
serpent skin,
howl me back,
let me go,
thrust into me until you get off,
then I'll leave you,
quicksand and in the night.

Lingering fingertips,
kundalini magic rising,
I wake you up,
you shutter with pleasure,
again and again,
I see fire and ice-
red and blue vibrate,
unite together,
inside of you,
inside of me.
Move with the current,
energy electric,
some sacred sexual
tempest
funnels through me
into you,
jolting your mind open,
light shines
between us in the dark.
Angels awaken to the sound
with Cheshire grins,
and the moon gets pleasure
from the sight of it all.

Traveling Circus

Lilith's vengeance
on my breath,
I storm through
your body,
awake chakras,
open up
the dark and light places,
now to enter the unknown.

Under the ground
of the circus
is where we begin.
The caterpillar responds
in smoke:
Who are you?

Cloudbursts frame the sky,
we are dying
and you are shaking
your fists,
yet still our bodies
crumble like the
sacred mockingbird and bee
in their cages,
collecting dust and anger.

You smother me,
I regain consciousness
and you stare,
waiting for a fucking
thank you,
Judas lies again.

I woke up,
felt a doll pulled by puppet strings,
and knew something
was wrong,
stirring in my stomach.
My head is spinning
from the visions
that haunt me
through the swamp,
and that desperate fog,
ice on my brain.
We continue,
up the mountain,
our paths
creating beauty
in a hazy world.

Creep

The pain struck a chord,
a tension she felt in her back
and neck, crushing her chest.
Though she wouldn't admit it,
her characters are falling
through the hole in the wall
where the wind comes in.

And there's always a part of you
that wants to spit fists
and bleed,
and fuck,
and not indeed in that order.
So it seems to me,
I can't stare down the monster,
unless I become her.
The deepest low
I've ever known
comes crawling in the back door
hungry and impatient.
So I stand in the mirror,
waiting to witness this unknown creature,
to speak to this bastard beast,
in the dark,
and in the morning I cry slightly,
but my face still splits into a grin
as I meet the creep
for the first time:
he stands behind me laughing.

Monster Carnivale

The serpents of the stock trade
are still working their way
to the coffin.

I demanded, for once, an answer
and got "holy water" and
a broken champagne glass,
the shards cut my hands
like broken teeth.

Alice is calling
through her tunnel vision,
mask the devil in the mayhem rite,
whisper in my ear,
make me believe it.

Bleeding wings,
skating misfits on the ice
over the river Styx.
Smirk and die a little,
cry and breathe the moment in,
turn into your monster,
Let the fun fair begin.

- Megan

Dancing Devil

In the midst of the dancing devil circus,

painted white and red,

she leaves us to stagger in the heat.

We can forgive each other

for the things we saw in dreams,

lonely fights with the monster,

we live underneath the belly.

Today I sweat off the negativity,

move to beaten paths of divinity,

live out the moment as if my feet

could sink straight down into the ground,

given the opportunity.

Take the red pill,

see the fall of sacred tempests

that make us swell together.

He cries out in the night,

we are losing our children.

Rebels out,

rise up and through glass rafters,

into the air,

between time and space.

Lift out of your holes,

your identity puzzles,

your dizzy spells.

We live in an age of a changing sun,

the moon our compass now. 

Monster Times

Living in the monster times,

we learned to creep with hostile vanity,

leaving the building block bones of industry

and lying to the suits on the thirty-first floor,

to aid our beauty sleep.

Yet in the darkness,

we slip in and out of bedrooms,

laterns awakened,

we voodoo our sins out the body,

into the river and cleanse away

what we’ve seen.

Lately I’ve nowhere to hide,

nightmares during the waking hours,

I stay haunted even in the unexpected

corners of the dollhouse.

Where in wonderland are we now?

In the deep sleepwalking cracks in the earth,

we sink down to see the fires of the Symbolic Order,

burning bright.