Crazy and Light

I was lonely,
the kind of lonely that
makes you cough and
sticks in your lungs.
Was it just
the way my head
tilted the “real” world
so vastly
that made people
snicker and stare
as I walked by and
my friends
roll their eyes at my ponderings
and say with a sigh,
“You are just in one of your
monster moods.”

I felt a deep sense
of walking freakshow
which seemed to make people
uncomfortable and me angry
and awkward as fuck.
Goddamn, I wanted just once to blend
into the wallpaper.

when Death showed up
outside my window
I paid her
three jack of bleeding hearts
to stay here
for just a little while longer.

And even though
each of us is just
a cluster of atoms
that likes hanging out
with each other
in a human sphere
of crazy and light,
I knew I’d miss
this temporary home
between the stars

and the crust of the earth.

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