For awhile I tried to
stuff all your shadows into my closet
to shut them up,
but they wouldn't stay,
too loud and pushy to live there
next to my dresses and flannel.
So I had to let them out
to howl in my kitchen,
to mock me in my brain,
leave scratches down my back and arms.
I tried to drown one once,
held one down as long as I could,
watched it struggle under my hands
but it just laughed at me
as it came up after.
They like to drink best,
smash the bottles over my knees
when they're done
to watch the blood drip down my legs
to my toes
as I hobble to the kitchen
for towels to soak up the blood
and grab bandages.
They like the way the drops of blood
taste on the carpet.
It's been eight months
since you left your shadows here
and the hissing in my ears never stops.
They keep me up til 7 in the morning
telling me ghost stories
when I wanted fairy tales.
I thought they would've faded by now
or moved on to another girl to torment,
but they've taken such
a sick liking to me,
dancing on my toes til they break,
tearing at my lips with their teeth,
pulling out my hair while I sleep,
and so they stay,
and stay,
and stay,
and thus I live with your shadows
every day turn to night turn to day,
a little horror story of my very own
to try to hide from everyone
including myself.
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