Crazy and Light

I was lonely,

the kind of lonely that

makes you cough and

sticks in your lungs.

Was it just

the way my head

tilted the “real” world

so vastly

that made people

snicker and stare

as I walked by and

my friends

roll their eyes at my ponderings

and say with a sigh,

“You are just in one of your

monster moods.”

I felt a deep sense

of walking freakshow

which seemed to make people

uncomfortable and me angry

and awkward as fuck.

Goddamn, I wanted just once to blend

into the wallpaper.

Nevertheless,

when Death showed up

outside my window

I paid her

three jack of bleeding hearts

to stay here

for just a little while longer.

And even though

each of us is just

a cluster of atoms

that likes hanging out

with each other

in a human sphere

of crazy and light,

I knew I’d miss

this temporary home

between the stars

and the crust of the earth.