Noise

Some days I am

so haunted

the ghosts delight

in calling my name,

early mornings,

while you slept and

dreamt of bouncing tits

and novocaine.

But I’d rather paint your body

all over the moaning walls

of each forget-me-not room

in my house

by candlelight magic,

drape you over subtle soft

armchairs and kiss skin,

cozy up to you

against lampposts

and fuck you hard then

on sunflower painted

kitchen tables.

I just desire so much more

than this plane

could seem to satisfy,

for I had seen things,

horrible nightmares

played out in the day.

Cancer demons

ever so slowly

pulling and eating away

at the life of my blood

and soul bonded brother.

Thus now feel myself

seeking out pleasure

like a fucking madness,

a mania takes control,

the pulse within me

to try to somehow restore

light balance to

such a dark decade,

losing my dad,

then my brother,

the world has tilted strange

and unforgiving like the sea,

cant understand any of it really,

walking blind

through a wet fog

in the marshes of Louisiana,

or driving through

a blizzard to be home

for Christmas,

hard snow splats on windshields

at 4 in the morning,

slip sliding

to the baseline

thumping in my car,

sobbing like a banshee

when the moons waning.

I start sensing

death breathing on

the back of my neck,

curling up in my stomach

and taking home there,

I panic and create

impulse heavy urges and mayhem

to distract

from the tornado

in my head.

Could you hear me

through all this noise?

Deep down I just craved the light.

Scorch

To strive again,

further,

deeper,

trying to splash and spill you

onto the page,

capture an

angelic nebulous

expression of a soul,

I could never

quite manage it

so I hinted around and about you,

then waltzed

straight through you

into the midnight

holding you in my head.

And sometimes you

pray weeping to the heavens

‘please don’t take him

from me’ and

the gods of war and water

refuse,

take him anyway, and

you spend your days

staring out the window

hoping for rain

on a Sunday morning

that might turn

into snow

and listening to that one song

over and over

cause it makes you feel sexy and alive

even just for a moment. 

And with death starting fires

inside my house,

my instinct was not

to jump from the rafters,

howling like a fucking banshee

all the way down,

instead,

to sizzle,

scorch burns

on my skin,

fire staining my tongues delight,

I danced with your spirit,

and kissed your mouth

down to your neck

until the moans and shivers

reached the fucking moon

and back.

Pleasure and the Ghost

If you’d allow me the pleasure,

Id moan your name

in my sleep.

Lets tremble and tumble

our spirits together

a moment

and I could serenade you

in the dawn coming.

The rhapsody of intertwining,

I could barely

hold your gaze

for the wanting

and the deep seeing

down into

the marrow of you.

The ivy wraps around

my waist and whispers

in my ears,

my senses go hunting

the astral planes

for signs of life,

maybe even a river

to wade through,

drown down those

tears to the ghost.

Blush

A cacophony of

breakthroughs and break downs

hurled and twirled me

deep within

some sacred hole,

through the underworld

to dance

with the shaking bones

til dawn’s delight.

Morning came

and I dragged

and I drugged myself

into cars of lines,

stiffening shoulders,

bruises on the arms

and oh heaving breaths wrestled

pounding heads,

but also

such sweet collidings

with soft backs

and rough bodies

on a Wednesday night

in January.

Today was a

cum and coffee

sort of temperature,

and I meant to stay around,

to watch you undress,

and we could

undo each others

precious masks,

with a blush and a sob,

but Im always

called away to

the graveyard

and so fucked you

loud in the night

and then craved

to leave at

4am

to drive alone.

The real

was so fucking harsh,

truth seemed

to seize me

into standing silence,

brain whirling

with too much,

just so many moments

to connect like

constellations,

spreading swirling fires

in that

perfect dark blanket,

soft but sometimes cold,

and that was alright,

I snuggled in for

long twilight

anyway with

a smile.